Sex toys for couples: what to buy together (UK guide)

Four kinds of couples toy

"Couples toy" covers four quite different things. Decide which one you're after and the choice comes down to two or three products.

• Worn together during sex. A small vibrator she wears, made so the vibration reaches both of you: the LELO Tiani 3, We-Vibe Sync Go and LELO Mahana. The closest thing to a toy that's truly for two.
• Remote and app wearables. She wears it under her clothes, and the controls are a remote or a phone. The Mina Veil clips in place with a magnet and has a handheld remote. The Svakom Edeny sits in the knickers supplied with it and runs from the Svakom app, together or apart.
• Gifts for her. A toy that's hers, to use alone or with you: a small bullet such as the Svakom Tulip, a compact massager such as the LELO AKO, or the full-size Loving Joy rechargeable wand.
• Shared extras for him. A vibrating ring such as the LELO Lifeguard is worn by him and made so you both feel the vibration. Take any ring off within 20 minutes: UK urologists say one should never stay on for more than 30.

Side by side

We haven't tested these hands-on, so the table uses each maker's own figures. Where a listing doesn't give a figure, the table says so rather than guessing. Every one of them charges by USB, so there are no batteries to buy.

What to spend

Spending more mostly buys a brand you'll recognise and control from an app, not a better first try.

• Under £30: the Svakom Tulip bullet or the Loving Joy rechargeable wand. Both are simple first gifts for her, and the wand runs for about 2 hours on a charge.
• £30 to £80: the LELO Mahana, the cheapest of the three couples vibrators here; the Mina Veil with its remote; the LELO AKO; or the Svakom Edeny if you want app control and a long-distance mode. The LELO Lifeguard ring sits here too.
• £90 and up: the We-Vibe Sync Go and LELO Tiani 3, the two premium couples vibrators. Worth it when you already know you both like the idea.
• Not sure yet: start with water-based lube or a massage oil set. Low cost, no pressure, and always used.

The His & hers kits

Each kit pairs something for him with something for her, plus Loving Joy Slide water-based lube. A kit costs less than the three parts bought separately and comes in one parcel. Its page shows the saving at today's prices.

• His & hers starter set: the Rev-Air Light cup for him, a manual stroker with nothing to charge, and the Loving Joy rechargeable wand for her. The cheapest of the three kits, and the simplest way to start.
• LELO Originals pair: the LELO Lifeguard vibrating ring for him and the LELO AKO compact massager for her, from the same LELO series. Both work from their own buttons or the LELO app, which adds four settings to each. Both give about 2 hours from a 2-hour charge, and both have a travel lock.
• Svakom app pair: the Svakom Vick Neo 2 for him, a remote-controlled prostate massager that warms to 38°C, and the Svakom Edeny for her. Both work with the Svakom app. The premium kit, for couples who already know they like app control.

Remote, app or long distance

A remote is the simple option: nothing to download, no phone to pair, and either of you can hold it. The LELO Tiani 3's remote reads movement, so two of its eight settings change as you move it. The Mina Veil has a small handheld remote. Neither listing gives a range.

An app adds settings and puts the controls on your phone. The We-Vibe Sync Go, LELO Mahana and Svakom Edeny all run from one. The Mahana must be registered in the LELO app before its first use, and it starts at a middle intensity that you change in the app.

For long distance, the app has to support it. The Svakom Edeny's app has a long-distance mode, so you can control it from your phone when you're apart. It's the only toy here whose listing names one, so if that's why you're buying, choose the Edeny or the Svakom app pair.

How to bring it up with your partner

Most of the awkwardness goes once it's clear the idea is about the two of you, not about something missing.

• Pick a relaxed moment when it's just the two of you, not at bedtime.
• Frame it as something new to try together, not a fix. "I saw this and thought it could be fun for both of us" lands better than a hint.
• Browse together, and let her choose anything that's for her. She'll know what appeals far better than you can guess.
• Start small. A lube, a massage oil set or the starter set is an easy yes. A premium couples vibrator can wait until you both know you like the idea.
• Make it fine to say no, or not yet. If she isn't keen, let it go without pressure: a toy only adds something when you both want it.
• Rather it was a surprise? Choose something clearly for her, such as the Tulip or the wand, and give it in private with a short note.

Lube, cleaning and a discreet delivery

• Water-based lube works with every toy material and with condoms. Loving Joy Slide, which comes in every His & hers kit, is water-based and pH neutral.
• Keep oils away from latex condoms. The NHS says never to use oil-based lubricant with them, and massage oil is oil-based, so keep it for massage.
• Silicone lube can damage silicone toys, so use water-based lube with anything made of silicone.
• Clean each toy after use with warm water and toy cleaner or mild, unscented soap, and let it dry fully before charging or storing it. Never boil anything with a motor.
• The Tiani 3, Sync Go, Mahana, Edeny, Tulip, AKO and Lifeguard are listed as waterproof and can be rinsed under the tap. The Mina Veil and the wand don't say, so wipe them with a damp cloth.
• Every order arrives in a plain box or mailing bag with no logo, product names or description on the outside. The sender on the label is Monta Fulfilment, there's no paperwork inside, and your bank statement shows FTL GOODS.
• Sealed items can be returned within 14 days if they're unopened. Opened intimate products can't be, for hygiene reasons, unless they're faulty.

Questions

This guide is general information, not medical advice. If something hurts or worries you, stop and speak to a GP or pharmacist.

Ready to choose?Shop his & hersPlain box, and your statement shows FTL GOODS