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6 min read · Gifts for him · Updated

Sex toy gifts for him: what to buy and how to give it

A sex toy can be a brilliant gift for a man, or an awkward one. The difference is almost always the choice of toy and the way it is given, not the price.

The short answer

For most men, a good manual stroker or a stretchy cock ring with a bottle of water-based lube is the safest bet, at £20 to £40. Choose something simple, give it privately, and frame it as something for him or for you both, not a hint.

Start with what he is into

  • Never used a toy: a soft manual stroker, or a stretchy silicone cock ring. Both are simple and hard to get wrong.
  • For the two of you: a vibrating cock ring, which adds something for you as well.
  • Already has the basics: an upgrade, such as an automatic stroker or a remote-control prostate massager, if he has mentioned being curious.
  • Not sure at all: good lube and toy cleaner. Unexciting, but always used.

What to spend

  • Under £20: a pack of stretchy cock rings, or a quality lube.
  • £20 to £40: a good manual stroker plus lube. The best value gift for most men.
  • £40 to £80: a vibrating cock ring or a vibrating stroker.
  • £80 and up: app-controlled and automatic toys from brands like LELO and Svakom. Brilliant for the right man, a lot to spend on a guess.

What to avoid

  • Novelty and joke toys. They tend to embarrass rather than delight.
  • Anything very large, complicated or anatomically realistic as a first toy.
  • Toys for anal play without a flared base. Never.
  • Cheap jelly toys with a chemical smell: they are often made from poor-quality materials.

How to give it

Give it in private, not in front of family or friends. Wrap it in something ordinary, and have it be one gift among others rather than the main event.

Frame it around him or the two of you: something to enjoy, not a comment on anything. A short note helps more than you would think.

If you are not sure he would like it, ask a light question beforehand, or choose something you would both use, such as a vibrating ring.

Ordering it without spoiling the surprise

If you live together, think about where the parcel lands and who sees the bank statement. Fettle orders arrive in a plain box with no logo or product description, and the statement says FTL GOODS. Order early in December: couriers are slower close to Christmas.

Returns and hygiene

Intimate products can only be returned if they are unopened and still sealed, for hygiene reasons. If you are unsure which size or type to choose, a stretchy or one-size option is the safer gift.

Questions

What is a good first sex toy to buy for a man?

A soft manual stroker or a stretchy silicone cock ring, with water-based lube. Simple, affordable and hard to get wrong.

How much should I spend on a sex toy gift for him?

£20 to £40 buys a good first toy and lube. Spend more only if you know what he likes.

Is it weird to buy my boyfriend a sex toy?

No. Plenty of couples do. Give it privately and present it as something for him or for you both.

Can I return a sex toy if he does not like it?

Only if it is unopened and sealed. Opened intimate products cannot be returned for hygiene reasons unless they are faulty.

This guide is general information, not medical advice. If something hurts or worries you, stop and speak to a GP or pharmacist.

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