The best prostate massager for beginners

What makes a massager good for beginners

The prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut, just below the bladder. Doctors check it by feeling through the wall of the back passage, a few centimetres in, and that's how a massager reaches it too. So a first massager doesn't need to be long or large. It needs the right shape.

• A flared base, ring or handle that stays outside the body. This is the one feature you never compromise on.
• Around 8 to 11 cm of insertable length. More than that adds nothing at the start.
• About 3 cm wide or less at the widest point.
• A gentle curve towards the front of the body, so you don't have to find the angle yourself.
• A smooth, non-porous material such as silicone or ABS plastic, which is easy to clean properly.
• No motor, or a simple one. Remotes, apps and moving tips are better as a second toy.

The seven compared

Sizes are the makers' own figures. Where a maker gives the circumference, we've divided it by 3.14 to show the width.

Our first pick: the Rev-Pro Classic

The Classic does the basics and nothing else. It's 11 cm insertable, about 3 cm across at the tip, curved towards the prostate and has a flared base. With no motor, you learn what angle and pressure feel right before anything else gets involved, and there's nothing to charge.

It's made of firm ABS plastic, which is non-porous and easy to clean. Firm gives clear, precise pressure. If you'd prefer something softer, look at a silicone massager instead.

The Prostate starter kit puts the Classic together with Sliquid Tsunami, a thick water-based gel, and toy cleaner, for less than buying the three separately.

If you want vibration or a remote

• Rev-Pro vibrating massager: 9 cm insertable and about 2.7 cm wide, with a removable bullet. The gentlest way to add vibration.
• Rev-Pro remote massager: 10 cm insertable, 10 patterns and 6 speeds on a wireless remote, rechargeable. The cheapest remote in the range.
• Svakom Vick Neo 2: short at 8 cm insertable, with warmth up to 38°C and a magnetic remote. A good second toy once you know you enjoy it.
• LELO Billy 2: slim at 3.5 cm, rechargeable, with about 4 hours of use from a 2-hour charge. No remote.
• LELO Hugo 2: two motors, one at the tip and one at the base, and a remote you can tilt to change the strength. A premium second toy.
• Rev come-hither massager: a tip that moves as well as vibrates, so you can keep your hands free. At 12.7 cm insertable and 3.7 cm wide, it's one of the larger ones here.

The lube to use

Use a thick water-based gel and far more of it than you'd expect, then add more as you go. Thick gels stay where you put them. Water-based lube is safe with every toy material, including silicone and ABS.

Avoid lubes with a numbing agent. Pain is how you know to slow down or stop, and you want to be able to feel it.

Your first time, briefly

• Go to the toilet and shower first. Most people find it easier to relax.
• Lie on your side or back with your knees up, and take a few slow breaths.
• Lube the massager and yourself, go in slowly, then wait while your body relaxes before doing anything else.
• Angle it gently towards your belly button. Slow, steady pressure tends to feel better than speed.
• It should never hurt. If it does, stop. See a GP if you notice bleeding, or pain that carries on afterwards.
• If you have piles or a fissure, or have had bowel or prostate surgery, ask your GP before trying.

What to avoid as a beginner

• Anything without a flared base, ring or handle.
• Toys longer or wider than you need. Bigger isn't better here.
• Silicone lube on a silicone massager, which can damage the surface.
• Sharing a toy without washing it first, or without covering it with a new condom each time.

Questions

This guide is general information, not medical advice. If something hurts or worries you, stop and speak to a GP or pharmacist.

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