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6 min read · Prostate massagers · Updated

Prostate massage for beginners

Plenty of men are curious about prostate play and do not know where to start. It is more common than people admit, and with the right toy and a slow pace it is simple and safe.

The short answer

Choose something slim with a flared base, use far more water-based lube than you think you need, and take your time. It should never hurt.

Where the prostate is

The prostate is a gland about the size of a walnut, sitting just below the bladder. It can be reached from inside the back passage, a few centimetres in, on the side towards your belly button.

Prostate massagers are curved for exactly that reason, so you do not have to guess the angle.

Why men try it

Many men find pressure on the prostate feels very different from other stimulation: deeper, and for some, more intense. Some enjoy it on its own; others combine it with a stroker or a partner. There is no expectation either way, so treat the first few times as finding out what you like.

Choosing a first massager

  • Slim and smooth: under 3cm wide is a comfortable start.
  • A flared base or handle. This is the one feature you never compromise on, because anything without one can slip in too far.
  • Body-safe silicone, which is non-porous and easy to clean.
  • No motor is fine to begin with. Vibration and remote controls can come later.

Getting ready

  • Shower and go to the toilet first. Most people find it more relaxing.
  • Trim your nails if you will use a finger first.
  • Use plenty of water-based lube. Avoid silicone lube on silicone toys.
  • Lie on your side or back with your knees up, and take a few slow breaths.

Taking it slowly

Go in slowly and let your body relax around it before you do anything else. Angle it gently towards your belly. Slow, steady pressure tends to feel better than speed.

It should never hurt. If it does, stop. See a GP if you notice bleeding or pain that carries on afterwards.

Cleaning up

Wash the massager with warm water and toy cleaner after every use and let it dry fully. Silicone toys without a motor can be boiled for a few minutes. If you share a toy, wash it between uses or cover it with a new condom each time.

Questions

Does prostate massage hurt?

It should not. Go slowly, use plenty of lube and stop if anything hurts.

Is prostate massage safe?

Yes, with a body-safe toy that has a flared base, plenty of lube and a slow pace. See a GP if you notice bleeding or ongoing pain.

Do I need a vibrating prostate massager?

No. A simple curved massager is a good start. Add vibration later if you want it.

What size should a first prostate massager be?

Slim: under 3cm wide, smooth, curved and always with a flared base.

Sources

This guide is general information, not medical advice. If something hurts or worries you, stop and speak to a GP or pharmacist.

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